Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul

Some wrongly criticize WILD AT HEART, believing Eldredge is offering up macho, dim-witted masculine bravado, or they believe that this work will be a free pass for men to leave marriages in the dust on a search for lost dreams. Eldredge will have none of that, and says himself in the book that such men are "deceived about what it is they really want, what they are made for." Don't be fooled by the various criticisms that ignore Eldredge's real meaning. A real man's desires are shaped by the Lord.

Instead, WILD AT HEART is about restoring a Godly dream in the soul of a man. A desire to truly be a man, rather than a softened-neutered-nice-but-restrained-guy that the world has somehow dictated that Christian males should be. Nice men may be socially acceptable but in creating them we have snuffed out the very fire that God would have us fan in our pursuit of Him.

This is an attempt to re-kindle that flame. To restore the three longings that are at the core of each man: a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. Eldredge's arguments are firmly planted in Biblical principles, as well as his past personal experience. His writing style is very easy going, and he uses a lot of illustrations from popular culture, which makes the reading fun. I believe this book is an awesome wake up call to the church. For too long men have weakened themselves by ignoring our God-created passions. WILD AT HEART shows us how to restore them, and challenges us to take the right risks and live the adventure. It may be a bit scary (after all, did God give Abraham a risk-free offer on his call to leave Ur?), but there's no other way to reach the real fulfillment that God would have us find. I'm not a big fan of "men's books," but this is one that I am so glad that I did not miss. You shouldn't either. FIVE STARS.


Some serious challenges and food for thought   August 5, 2003
ERW (U.S.)
38 out of 42 found this review helpful

I can understand and agree with all the negative criticisms that people are writing about this author's books, but there's a catch: Their anger is misdirected. Like any advice/teaching/ whatever you want to call it, you are going to have certain people completely misunderstand or misinterpret said teachings and do what they want with it.

I find the author makes some very good points for which I feel vindicated personally on several levels.

I am 27 years old, a single Christian male, and have felt a lot of the ways this author talks about. And it's not wrong. I want to be loved and to love an amazing Christian woman. I want my life to be so much more than being stuck in a gray box with floursecent lights all day and then come home to another box at night and repeat ad infinitum. Is that all life is? I'd honestly rather be dead if that's all there is....and that's what this author is trying to dig at.

The author is not advocating contradictions to Jesus's teaching, but is presenting an idea that, if you are trying to walk in the Lord's path, there are certain innate desires that every man and woman has. Excitement, variety, challenge, love...these are the kinds of things that men and women naturally desire, and these desires are not wrong and should not be choked down.

In several of his books, the author tries to dissect how and why men (and even women to a limited degree although his focus is on men) feel certain ways about certain things.

I was so depressed after graduating college and now I finally know why. I don't want to be just some "nice guy" that everyone looks over and forgets. I am a nice guy, but I am so much more than a cog in some machine. That's what this is about! This is really about how the Christian life isn't supposed to be endless rote and repetitive duty until we drop dead. It's supposed to be joyous service to the Lord, and by extension, each other.

The author is rightly asking: How many of you actually feel joy, or do you certain things "just because it's the right thing to do." Life's got to be about more than that!


An Essential Read For Men...and Women   May 3, 2001
Chuck Hicks (Concord, NC USA)
36 out of 41 found this review helpful

Following closely on the heels of his magnificent *Journey of Desire*, John Eldredge has written the "men's book" of the ages. In addition, female readers will not only gain insight into masculinity but will discover much about themselves and how God - and their men - play a role in their own personal dramas.

Much will be said and written about this book, but one aspect that merits particular emphasis is Eldredge's uncanny ability to discern from the play of children the immense "Story" that God has placed humanity in - a story filled with heroes and villains, damsels in distress, sacrifice, and a happily everafter. The author demonstrates to the reader how little boys and girls innately understand the power of (and need for) a "battle to be fought, an adventure to be experienced, and a Beauty to be won." Such is the life at the heart of the Christian gospel. After all, Jesus himself said regarding children, "of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Another key tenant of the book is that men and women must go to God individually, and not to each other, to gain validation. Eldredge stresses that true masculinity is "bestowed" from father to son. He poignantly explains, too, how Christ can take up the "initiation" of a wounded man into the fulness of masculinity (a special highlight is his inclusion of Ezra Pound's forgotten poem "The Goodly Frere", which offers an engagingly different picture of Jesus).

Along the way Eldredge summarily debunks the "precept and principle" philosophies (which includes Promise Keepers) that have unwittingly robbed the Christian faith of its vitality. No "twelve steps" here - the focus is on life, not formulas. Filled with humor and remarkable frankess, this is a heart-warming challenge to join God in a wild, gut-wrenching, but ultimately triumphant battle.


Beyond Androgyny   August 27, 2001
Ed Chinn (Ft. Worth, Tx. United States)
28 out of 32 found this review helpful

Wild at Heart is, in a world of fruit drinks, a double gin and tonic! Powerful, warm, bracing, and permission-granting. This book takes a crowbar to the lid that religion and other domesticating forces have clamped on men (and women). At first impression, Eldredge seemed to be issuing a fine and compelling call to manhood, ala Braveheart (and, yes, even at that level, itýs a rollicking great book). Then I realized he is really confronting that androgyny which is inevitably produced by the forces of conformity. Here, he is operating on new ground: the contemporary church world has unwittingly pressured men and women to trade their sexuality for a third gender called "Christian." But, then, he surprises again by throwing back the curtain even further and revealing the throbbing vitality of a connection with the God. He designed men and women, therefore, only He can define and empower their roles. Men must take their strength to, not from, women! Itýs time for men to unhook their little tubes from their mothers and wives and get reconnected to the Fatherhood of God. Readers of Wild at Heart are in for some delicious and even stunning passages. His view of Ruth and Boazýs courtship is a vivid revelation of the essence of a woman; it is also thigh-slapping funny. The parable of intercourse(page 185!) is another revelation; it genuinely stirred me (it would make Aunt Bee reach for a fan)! Eldredgeýs portrait of Joseph (Jesusý earthly father, not the patriarch) is moving and insightful. And, his explanation for pornographyýs pull on men is crystal clear. Please understand: this is not a trendy nor iconoclastic nor macho manifesto for men. Eldredgeýs heart is humble, his theology is surprisingly mature, and his mission is serious as a shotgun. Perhaps the most valuable cargo of the book is the way he challenges men to care and ýfight forý their wives and children. Wild at Heart says much about the sad abandonment of women by their men, especially in those long marriages, where the initial glow has faded and couples find themselves in a malaise. Eldredge challenges men with ýSheýs still in there, but sheýs captive. Are you willing to go in after her?ý Men who have mounted their stallions and charged, dashingly, into a career need to turn around and ride back into the land where she fell, and sweep her up from the ground. Yes, sheýs still there and waiting to be rescued!


Not An Owner's Manual (whew)   March 26, 2007
Anita Ashland (Madison, Wisconsin)
14 out of 15 found this review helpful

If you are a woman, Wild at Heart will give you a peek under the hood of the men in your life. If you are a man, here's your chance to think about things that you would normally probably only ever talk about with a counselor or your best friend.

How often have you stepped back and thought of what it means to simply be a man? The focus in most books is on roles: our roles as a spouse, in our career, as a parent. Most men are bored, he says. Most women are tired.

According to Eldredge, men have three basic desires: adventure, a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue. I was all set to dislike this book and assumed it would be full of generalizations and bromides. Sure, there are generalizations, but the conversation has to begin somewhere. Again and again he emphasizes that he's not promoting some He Man image and again and again he says that God is the source of true masculinity.

A large chunk of the book talks about the wounds men have. He says he has never met a man that does not have a wound. He says that most of the healing that has occurred in his own life is the result of spending time with his best friend. He talks about how his three boys often seek "snuggle time" with him.

Eldredge has counseled many men, has had more deep conversations with men than I could ever hope to have in several lifetimes, and for this reason alone his insights are worth considering. He gives many brief glimpses into the lives of some of these men. He also touches on problem areas in his own marriage but avoids sordid tell-all details in his stories. Unlike most marriage books, he doesn't make an idol of marriage and emphasizes that men must offer strength to their wives, not draw strength from them. Utimately they must draw their strength from God.

Fathers take a hit in this book. Fathers are the one that deliver their son's wound and fathers are usually to blame for the wound in their daughters, he says. Obviously a man's desires come with responsibility, and the potential to cause damage.

This book isn't an owner's manual. It is refreshingly free from To Do lists and formulas. By simply acknowledging that these basic desires exist, and that somewhere under the hood is a wound that needs to be healed, you can look at the men in your life and let the wheels start turning and slowly begin to fill in the blanks on your own.